Can anyone tell me why so few shops (including eBay) accept Visa cards compared to, for example, England and Denmark?
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German customers are very price-sensitive. They would not tolerate any surcharges that sellers would have to factor into their prices if they accepted credit cards.
Your bank might be able to issue a Maestro Card (formerly EC card). Ask them. With that, you can shop pretty much anywhere in Germany.
If you want to buy something from a German eBay seller, you could use a direct bank transfer. If you are in the eurozone, the transaction would be free of charge if you have the seller’s IBAN and BIC. If you are not in the eurozone, ask your bank about the fee.